Chapter 2: Part 4:
children & cats

Although families that have children do not necessarily have cats, most families that have cats also have children. This nugget of fact was discovered by the survey mentioned earlier and was offered without further comment.

This leaves up in the air a number of questions about the relationship of kids and cats, which is easy enough to observe, yet difficult to interpret. Two facts stymie the adult in such research: he has never learned to talk cat and he has forgotten how to talk child. He communicates poorly with both his sources, therefore, and has to call on his mature reasoning, a poor substitute, to explain the obvious.

Adults want to know, for instance, why the cat which walks haughtily away when a friendly adult merely wants to pet it will submit to being dragged around by the tail by a three-year-old. The answer to this is so simple as to be laughable.

And so we come to the next point: kittens. Kittens, considering their pounds and inches, are very enduring. Not all of them, it must be said, will put up with the tail-dragging nonsense, but few will make a fuss as long as there's an escape route or hiding place available when things get too rough. This is because, as is well known, there is a secret alliance among young creatures, regardless of species. They may grow up to dislike each other, but while they are little and new they are simpatico. Which is not to say that the young are more stable emotionally than their elders, but simply that they sense the youth in each other and are perhaps more forgiving.

This understanding between children and cats (or other pets, for that matter) makes it difficult to tell either the way to get on with the other. Mother cats, in any event., probably pass the word along to kittens. And parents just have to do the best they can with children.

Since even the smallest youngster is larger than a cat, the responsibility for keeping the relationship nice and easy rests largely with him. The cat's contribution will be extreme forbearance, no mean use of fang or claw and no bearing of grudges. On this basis, fine play is possible.

The cat can learn to enjoy any game in which she is a participant, not a victim. The hardest thing the child will learn is that the cat is most entertaining when given the freedom to be herself, least so when forced into someone else's pattern. There are also times, it will be seen, when the cat needs to be left alone: when she's eating, for one; when she breaks off play, for another. These, fortunately, are followed by times when the cat invites companionship or cuddling. There is deep satisfaction for child or adult to have a purring cat pick his lap to curl up in. Opportunities to return this regard will be many. For all their cleverness, cats cannot unlock a door, turn the faucet for a drink of water or ladle out their own food for dinner. Most children are pleased to be able to do so, and to help a friend. It is useful to know how to pick up a cat properly: one hand holding the back paws and serving as secure support for the hindquarters, the other cradling the chest, in back of the forepaws. And never pick her up by the scruff of the neck. Cats soon become too big to have their weight suspended that way. Also, it's undignified to dangle. For many children it is instructive to see how the mother cat bears her kittens, and how faithfully she raises them. For any children there are daily experiences, whether understood as such or not, forming the basis for an appreciation of natural grace, natural gaiety and natural, functional behavior, as expressed in the being of a cat. And, finally, there may be grief at the incomprehensible, always unreasonable death of a cat. It will cut deeply, but it is an honest emotion and a maturing one. The child who lets it touch him will take a step toward feeling generously in all relationships. Go to: Chapter 3 Part 1: Growing Up

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